10 Terrible Writing Prompts of Love, Revenge, and Vegan Fishhooks in Existential Crisis
Most of the writing prompts I’ve ever used were required by either a teacher, a therapist, or a parole officer. Still, I know that such prompts are a mainstay in many corners of the writing community (I’m not judging—whatever works, am I right?).
So for the following bits of inspiration, consider them as from a sojourner passing through welcoming but unfamiliar territory. And like an Appalachian hillbilly of yesteryear bumbling through the chic lights of Paris, this is not so much my attempt to fit in, but an earnest effort at procuring a participation trophy.
Here are 10 Terrible Writing Prompts:
Imagine Freud and Nietzsche had an arm-wrestling match hosted by Hemingway. One of them cheated. The judges were split on the winner. Write about the crowd’s reaction when the betting pool was stolen by Jung and Engels.
Imagine a mighty dust storm that sweeps across the face of the Earth. Since the dawn of time there has never been a dust storm like this one. Now, being sure to incorporate the dust storm, write about the budding friendship between a fish and his favorite coral reef.
Write about being the “Giving Tree” but instead of giving everything to that spoiled little sadist you make an apple fall on his head and move to Florida where you fall in love with a palm tree.
Pretend there was a movie about a vampire. It’s also a “first contact” alien movie. Ten minutes in it becomes clear that the crux of the drama is going to be a love triangle between Captain America, a she-wolf, and Optimus-Prime. Now write about asking the 16 year old cashier for your money back — even though the credits are rolling and you plan on sneaking into the next showing.
Write about the lonely inventor who dedicated six years of his life to invent Rubrick’s Rectangle before his neighbor stole the idea to create…anything other than Rubrick’s Cube will be acceptable.
Imagine a vegan fishing hook. Now write about the agony of being the fishing line it’s tied to that has no choice but to listen to the endless existential crisis.
Write a self-written eulogy of the number three and his unrealized desire to become a number eight.
Write about being the dumbest joke in the world. All you want to do is fade into sweet existential silence but, no matter how badly you thwart every punchline, you keep getting retold.
Who do you think would win in a fight to the death you or a hundred rabid squirrels? Write about the bet that gets you into this perilous situation.
Imagine the kid from the Giving Tree (see prompt #3) carved the dumbest joke in the world into a palm tree in Florida (see prompt #8). Write a poem about how global warming is a lover’s revenge.
So are you feeling ready to write?
If you like these…check out my X feed where I regularly drop more inspirational (?) prompts.
